It was a beautiful sunny day in March, early in the afternoon. I sat almost frozen on the train trudging along much earlier than I would normally be coming home from work. There were not many of us, it was nice to have a seat to myself for a change. I was being sent home unexpectedly as the situation in London had suddenly become dangerous and unsafe, due to the high rise of COVID- 19 cases. Many people were getting infected and dying. I was surprised at how quickly events had unfolded with the situation, and the sudden notice to leave the office caused us all great surprise. As I sat there, part of me was feeling sad to say goodbyes to my colleagues. I had even emptied my work locker, a last minute decision, in anticipation that I may not be back anytime soon. One of my co-workers had laughed at me, saying, ‘we will be back in a few months, and then we can take a summer walk in the park and enjoy a coffee together’. A part of me hoped this was true, but another part of me felt a sudden sense of foreboding that it would be a while before we went back and things would be anything but normal again.
The first quarter of 2020 was already proving to be a year unlike any other. I thought about how dramatically life was changing, and of all of the things I had planned for this year – carefully written in my New Year’s diary. Life suddenly seemed very unstable and unpredictable. A train buddy who I noticed on the train hugged me before I disembarked, saying take care and see you in a few months
A few months became half a year. The initial novelty of working at home: away from the boss, enjoying lunch in my garden, no early morning commutes to London, soon evaporated and gave way to sameness and the feeling that I was forever stuck in Groundhog Day. No prospect of a social life, or seeing friends and loved ones as the national lockdown came into heavy force. Sad news of the deaths that were happening in my country, and across the world compounded my state of feeling demotivated and sad as the days passed. I knew I had to break this deadlock, it was 100 days in lockdown, and I was starting to not recognise myself anymore.
I knew I had the tools to turn it around and motivate myself. I had to dig deep. Life has a funny habit of teaching you what you need to know. As synchronicity would have it, it was then that I saw an e-mail pop up at work asking if there was anyone with skills in health and well-being. They were looking for people with skills to motivate staff who were beginning to feel demotivated and stressed by all that was going on around then, that was affecting their mental health.
I knew I could help, yet as someone who was generally not a person who put myself out there publicly, the easy thing would have been to say no, but there was a part of me- my soul- that was saying you need to do this. I had already started training with Marci with Happy for No Reason at this point, and was beginning to pick myself up, and knew I had to say Yes to Life, and to feel the fear and do it anyway. And so that is what I did, I found my fingers typing the words, ‘yes, I can help’, even though part of me was saying, do you know what you are doing, you are going to have to speak to an audience now! (to be continued)
Fast forward a month and there I was butterflies in my stomach, just about to start delivering a webinar on “Staying Motivated”, to lots of people who I could see coming online to attend.
The webinar began. I took a deep breath, prayed and decided not to focus on how many people had joined the call. Just to speak and share my knowledge and experience. I knew I had to speak from the heart for people to relate to me, so ditched my notes at that moment and allowed the words of wisdom from my soul to flow out of my mouth. By the end of the webinar, so many people were emotional and grateful, saying how amazing it had been for them and how much it had helped them. I knew that day that I had made a difference in their lives, by showing them other possibilities in how to stay engaged with life and ways to motivate themselves despite the odds.
To my surprise, after that day, offers then started to come in for more webinars as word got around and other departments asked if I could deliver these webinars to them too. I realised just how many people were hungry for this knowledge and it was an honour to lead the workshops and see people starting to believe in themselves again. And as a side bonus I realized that everything I was teaching, I was also beginning to apply to my own life. I was setting small, achievable goals; reversing any limiting, unhealthy habits I had a acquired under lockdown, and reprogramming, motivating myself to begin anew and adopt more empowering habits in whatever way I could. By doing so, my world started to open up again and I felt a wellspring of joy and peace fill my being. Having also completed Marci’s Happy for No Reason course by this point – I was starting to live Happy for No Reason. It was becoming a natural state of being.
COVID-19 has been a real challenge for so many people this year. Despite all that has occurred, I know that in any crisis, if we go deep within- there is often an opportunity and gifts waiting to be discovered. We just need to allow ourselves to see it and dig deep to find it. By doing so we reclaim our inner treasure and our true calling. We can start to live our true passion in life again. When we dare to follow our heart’s dreaming in any given moment, as I did that day when I said yes to the universe to becoming a motivational speaker, we have taken the first step to finding a way to fulfil our goals.
Who would have guessed that day on the train, on my way home from work; when all seemed hopeless, as my goals for the year started to dissipate in front of my very eyes because of this awful pandemic, just how much my life and mind set would shift and change In such a miraculous and amazing way.
I say to you, dare to dream your dreams too and find a way to fulfil them, no matter what. Let the river of life lead you to your destination; it always finds the way – even if you can’t see it right now. Do not let any external circumstances or imposed limits ever define you. You are much more than your external reality. You can do it!
Shila
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